Days pass by. I see things nobody else has seen. I make Christmas-ornaments. A cat licks my eyelids. “In a sense, it is fortunate that the story I must now relate should be so largely a thing of undetermined shadows, of half-shaped hints and forbidden inferences.” Clark Ashton Smith. The Nameless Offspring. (1932) I see […]

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At an exam today: “Don’t ever justify your work. Don’t ever ask for permission.” Also, talking about the responsibility of the artist and her/his relation to the audience: Art is medicine, sure, but not the nice kind. It can hurt and offend, but that is the knowledge it harbors: If you get angry or sad, […]

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  “The truth is always that which can be repeated.” Jacques Derrida. She pulls me in, kisses me, and smiles. “I like when you smell of booze and my cunt,” she says. Outside on the street the religious peregrination continues. There is music, shouting, singing and fireworks. Promises are being kept in bliss and excess. […]

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It’s Sunday. It’s cold. We miss each other. I go to the market to buy fruit. You can tell it’s December by the amount of people (and all the Christmas-decorations, obviously). There is this “thing” just out of reach. Like the memory of a fragrance, or the sound that you just thought you heard. I […]

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I have no control over what I write, which is as it should be. – William Burroughs. Afterwards we go out for tacos, then have some Gin Tonics at home before falling asleep watching “Solaris” (Tarkovsky, 1972). Few directors know how to show the unspeakable better – you can’t tell someone about one of his […]

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We have more time today. It’s amazing, as always. My sheets are soaked. We fall asleep for a while and wake up to eat. I wrote “I want to graft myself onto her […],” maybe I should clarify that in a way that is what I am doing here. This, what I am writing here […]

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“My mind is going / Where there’s no knowing” – Save Me (1966). Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich I’ve always wondered if this means, “my mind is going and there is no way to know where,” or “my mind is going to a place where knowledge does not exist.” I also wonder if […]